My oh my, what a crazy few days it has been. In the ten days since I gave my three weeks since I gave my notice, I have heard a variety of opinions towards my decision. Many family members and friends have supported me. I welcome their support, because it shows just how many people realize that I am not happy and have not been happy for quite a long time.
We can go back and forth on my happiness at my job being directly related to what I am going through in life, but as bad as 2013 was, 2014 has already been that much better. From what I’ve given up though, it could have been much greater. That’s where I place the blame both on my employer and myself.
I could have easily stopped working eighty hour work weeks. I could have easily stopped caring as much as I do. That being said, it wouldn’t be my style. I can’t NOT give my all to anything I put my name on and care about (qualifier there). My job was to get the store back on track…so I did it. Was it really so necessary that in order to get to 22.7% up on the year (year-to-date sales through Sunday) that I began to cut out almost everything in my life and focus on work?
We’ll never know the answer for certain, but my money says no. I put my heart into what I do. That’s the way I was raised, and no one will ever convince me to change that. If my heart isn’t in something anymore, then I need to step aside. One of my associates has come near begging me to stay on and keep being his boss. I explained that even if I changed my mind and stayed, he and the company don’t and shouldn’t want me anymore. You can’t expect loyalty or the same work ethic when you know they were that close to leaving once before.
While I clearly shoulder much of the blame for my unhappiness and schedule that I let work give me, I do not excuse the employers. I feel that someone had to say SOMETHING when they saw consistent 70-80 hour work weeks. The resolution to the whole mess came far too late to convince me to change my mind. I have missed birthdays, dates, functions, parties, time with friends, and so much more because I let this job take control of my life.
I don’t even really like dressing up anymore. It’s become a mundane routine for me. I have been burnt out by idiotic customers. It took two years, but the retail world is no longer somewhere I want to spend my time. It’s given me more grief than I would be willing to bear, to be frank. Between those absolutely god-awful customers and ridiculous conference calls about mundane/unimportant details, I’m done sacrificing my time with family, friends, and myself for it. I’m not seeing any real returns outside of financial gain, and I can be the first to tell you that money cannot buy happiness. I’ve lived that life the past few months!
I’m going to start living my dreams. Whether that’s sticking my neck out and getting off the beaten path of life or it’s doing what I want to for a change, I’m going to live my dreams out. I’ve had some dreams for the better part of ten years now, so I am finally ready to move forward and take the amazing chance I have been given. Maybe one day I’ll settle into something more established and concrete, but you can’t live with what ifs…no matter what the age.
I told you guys I was on the up-and-up. It just took a stretch of road a few hundred miles long and a hookah bar or two…