As someone that works in an industry that demands a pristine and polished appearance, it’s almost humorous how little I can care what some people think of me. I tend to be this quandary in that regards, because I am intensely worried about some aspects of my perception, yet I could care less in other places. Here I am, wearing a suit again because the job demands it, but most recognize that while I put together fantastic combinations for myself and my customers, I’m much much happier in soccer shorts and a t-shirt, walking around barefoot if I can help it.
Does this affect my appearance? While I am maintaining a growing beard and always bathe, does my body language and lack of desire to be in the suit hurt my case? I’d love to say that I’m just worrying for nothing, but it clearly affects me. If you were to walk in my store yesterday, I easily had the most experience of anyone in that store who was working (the boss is away on vacation). That being said, my disregard to wear my suit jacket didn’t help my case, as people routinely went towards the clean-shaven employees who had their suit jackets on. It’s hilarious to me to see them defer to me for decisions and advice from time to time, because I can tell I’m being considered slovenly for not wearing my suit jacket and growing a beard compared to my clean-shaven compatriots.
Plus, I’m bigger. I’m at my highest weight again. That cycle just keeps kicking my ass. It’s a self-control and motivation issue that I’ve struggled with for years, and I tie part of that into my depression. That all being said, I’m finally not letting it define me. I’ve been working out consistently for the first time in ages, and it feels great. I know that my smaller and more fit coworkers are considered more knowledgeable when their suits fit perfectly and mine are a little snug/ill-fitting. Hence, I’m getting there. My very, very bold claim was that I will lose 100 pounds in the next two years. I honestly believe I can do it. Heck, if I lose 70, I’ll be happy as well. I just need to do this for me. It’s a body image thing, and it helps the perception of people who see me.
So I’m doing this. I have to take better control of my appearance and how people view me. As much as we all want to live and say that we don’t care what people say about us, I’m trying to work in an industry that is directly tied into your appearance on a daily basis. I’ll get some swagger back also when I don’t feel like I look terrible. Plus, Killer is gonna get mad at this post for saying I look bad. Haha!